Food Junk

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12/20/11--14:50: Dried Zombie Skin: A Review (chan 2722974)

I’d like to think that when the zombie apocalypse actually does occur (my money’s on 2016), that I will be able to write a review of actual dried zombie skin.  We will all be living under a skeleton government, food will be rationed, times will be tough, but hopefully there will still be a demand [...]


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12/28/11--21:24: Soylent Green Crackers: A Review (chan 2722974)

Movie merchandising has been around forever.  Its roots can be traced way back to 1939 when MGM capitalized on its runaway smash hit by releasing a line of fully articulated Gone With The Wind action figures, featuring that Christmas’s hottest toy, Rhett Butler with Not Giving a Damn Action.  Sadly, the short-lived line was discontinued [...]


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01/01/12--10:20: Effervescent Bacon Drink Tabs: A Review (chan 2722974)

Here I sit on my couch putting fingers to keyboard only 21 minutes into 2012.  Since my wife was out of town and my friends have either moved away or have become generally uninteresting, I rang in the new year by pausing my Netflix Bones marathon long enough to watch Dick Clark drop the ball [...]


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01/08/12--17:31: Sour Cream and Onion Doritos: A Review (chan 2722974)

This is how the case began. A little over a week ago, I was in my office, smoking a cigar and thumbing the pages of the new Spicy Mystery Stories I’d just bought from Otto down at the newsstand, when a dame opened my door and slinked in.  She was gorgeous.  I had to spit [...]


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01/16/12--20:09: NutLiquor Peanut Butter Vodka: A Review (chan 2722974)

Let’s get this disclaimer out of the way right at the top.  I generally try to keep this blog fairly PG rated.  I don’t cling to any moral high ground or anything.  I just don’t want to have to rely on too many f-bombs to hold my beloved readers’ interest. (People are interested aren’t they?  [...]


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01/22/12--15:30: Pepsi Pink: A Review (chan 2722974)

One of my favorite activities is to dig through Wikipedia like a greasy fingered, digital archaeologist, looking for products from the distant past that I never bothered to notice in my pre-blogging days.  My favorite excavations have been from the entry entitled “List of Pepsi Variations.”  Being an avid Pepsi drinker, this page fascinates me [...]


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01/28/12--20:44: Bing Energy Drink: A Review (chan 2722974)

Let’s talk about famous bings. Bing Crosby.  Born Harry Crosby.  Nicknamed Bing as a child by a neighbor because of a shared passion for a parody newspaper about hillbillies.  Has starred in a ton of movies. Many are considered classics.  I have not seen one of them.  Entered my periphery through his Christmas album which [...]


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02/05/12--15:42: Vosges Haut-Chocolat Bapchi’s Caramel Toffee Bar: A Review (chan 2722974)

Do you ever just want to like something way more than you do?  Like if someone at work gives you something to listen to or to read, and they’re really excited for you to experience it, and then you do, and you don’t like it, but you have to fake your enthusiasm to keep the [...]


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02/12/12--18:10: Ivana B. Skinny Cocktail Flavored Wine Drinks: A Review (chan 2722974)

You know how it is ladies.  Sometimes you just wanna put on your sexiest dress, don your best novelty-sized shoulder flower or tiny askew top hat, and head to the hippest new bar with your girlfriends to make penis puns and sing off-key, inside joke songs very loudly.  We’ve all been there.  But if you’re [...]


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02/18/12--17:44: Star Trek Romulan Ale Energy Drink: A Review (chan 2722974)

This past weekend was MegaCon, a comic book/collectible/sci-fi/anime convention held at the Orange County Convention Center outside Orlando.  It is my favorite day of the year.  I have attended almost every year since high school.  I take the day off work, strap on my best backpack, and go for a joyful wander, absorbing the very [...]


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